I Trust You Jesus

“I trust you Jesus”  “Mwen gen knofyans nan ou Jezi” This has been a statement that I have said and prayed many times over the last few months.   The journey that my family is taking to adopt Neica is one of greatest step I have taken in my Christian walk.  I cannot think of another decision I have made where I have to totally trust Jesus.  In adoption there are so many variables that I cannot influence, change or control; I have to totally trust Jesus to complete the journey that he has started. …”And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Hebrews 12:1.  

We received some news last week from Haiti that caused Patrick and I some anxiety for about ten minutes.  In that ten minutes we took in the news, allowed ourselves to have a few minutes to discuss our reaction and then do the one thing that we knew would give us calm:  PRAY!  I am so grateful for the peace and calm that comes from turning over my fears, worries, frustrations to the Lord.  

I also love how the Lord gives such sweet reminders to us.  I wanted to share a passage from a book I am reading, Paul 90 Days on His Journey of Faith by Beth Moore.  

                According to verse 23 (Acts 11:23 When he arrived and saw this proof of God’s favor, he    was filled with joy, and he encouraged the believers to stay true to the Lord), Barnabas          “encouraged all of them to remain true to the Lord with a firm resolve of the heart,” to       plan in advance to remain faithful to Him!  I cannot overemphasize the importance of     this exhortation.  This principle is one I diligently sought to teach my children, to make           them understand that the point of temptation or the pinnacle of pain is not the ideal                   time to decide whether to stick with Christ.  The most effective time to resolve to obey   Christ is in advance of difficulty.  Planning to stay faithful can greatly enhance victory.  

As I read this I knew this was God’s sweet, true and powerful word to me to remain true to the Lord, to remember in all things say I trust you Jesus.

We Are Home

We are home from an amazing week in Haiti.  Thank you everyone for the prayers, they were felt!  Zadie and Neica created a great bond over the week which I know will continue to grow. 

Our trip began a little precariously due to the shutdown of I75,  what was suppose to be a four hour drive turned in to seven hours.  We slept quickly, three hours, and were off to the airport.  For the first time in a long time, we had no plane delays and arrived in Haiti on time!  Zadie was beyond excited and just wanted to know how much longer until we reached her sister.   The traffic was against us once again with a normal 3 hour drive turning into 6 hours thanks to the grid lock of Port au Prince!  So from our house in Knoxville to Camatin took 28 hours!!  Zadie never complained once and I am not sure if she ever stopped smiling! 

I was so proud of Zadie.  God made her with a beautiful heart and a love for others but it was so present in Haiti as I witnessed my daughter in action.  She was in the dirt trying shoes on those who needed them, treating everyone the same way as she does her family and friends, never once acting taken aback by the extreme poverty of many families we met.  She spent time with the girls in the orphanage just being a little girl along with 30 other little girls; jumping rope, coloring, playing on the swing set and that one that spins around (love her she did not know what a merry go round is because they could hurt an American child), playing on the roof, reading, drawing……

I know that Zadie will never be the same and for that I praise God.  God has blessed our family with the willingness to say yes to Matthew 25:40, to go into all the nations, and the courage for obiedience to James 1:27, to care for the orphans.  I am praying that everyone reading this will get honest and real before God and have the courage to say yes!  I have never been happier or felt more at peace since I said yes to both of God’s commandments.  Those commandments are not just for the few, these are for every Christian.  The question is will you say yes?!?  There are beautiful little girls in Camatin who want a forever family, there are children in many other nations as well as in America who also want a family.  I pray that you will have the willingness to ask what your role can be in the life of a child.  

Our first family photo less Grey!  Soon enough all five of the Fiveashes will be in the same photo and home, until that day we know that God is in control.  All praise, all glory goes to Him!

Anticipation

In three weeks, I will be in the mountains of Haiti with my two daughters. Zadie and I, along with some dear friends, will be heading to Haiti for a week. I cannot explain what a beautiful time this will be for our family as two sisters meet for the first time. Neica is so excited that her se (sister) is coming to see her! We talked on Sunday and you can hear the excitement in her voice.

Zadie has been counting down the days and wants to leave yesterday. She has taken her shots like a champ, not even one tear. Has made her packing list, rewrote it, and rewrote it again. She is working on her Creole, learning every girl’s name in addition to wanting to know their story. Every day she asks, “Mom tell me all about our trip. Where all will we go? Which villages will we go to? Will I see where Neica is from? “ She cannot wait to meet her little sister face to face and spend a week with Neica and all of the girls. She is so excited to see Haiti for herself.

God made Zadie for this. Zadie has said she is going to be a missionary since she was about four. First, China was in her heart and mind (I know Zadie and her daddy will be there yet). Second, Australia was her burden (She says she is going as soon as she can). Now her heart is looking at Haiti. I know my girl and this will only be the first of many trips to the country God has lead our family to.

I know God is going to be faithful and will be with us on every step of this trip. I know God predestined my family. I know two little girls are going to fall madly in love with each other. I know this will be a hard goodbye but the goodbye is temporary.

Please pray for my girls. Pray for their time together. Pray for their departure. Pray for us as we await Neica’s homecoming.

Our Dossier is Done and is in Route to Haiti!

Today was a big day in our journey of faith. A very important pile of papers, all notarized, certified, authenticated, legalized and translated, was put into a carry case and handed off to a very special lady!! Our Dossier is completed on the American side and will be leaving on an airplane at 6:30 AM tomorrow, Saturday, March 17, 2012. By midday, if the airlines cooperate, our dossier will be given to our Haitian representative and the journey of Haiti’s legal system begins.

I am not one who gets anxious or worries however this week I have had a level of anxiety about all of this paperwork. What if something is wrong, what if there was an error in the translation (like I would know), and what if something is missing? What if I am in a wreck and the papers are in the car? What if my car gets stolen today with the completed dossier inside of it? (I really had to laugh at myself this morning as I really had this thought race through my mind!) What if? What if?

I praise the one who paid my debts and gave his life for me! The same God who created this universe (Genesis 1 and 2), parted the Red Sea (Exodus 14), gave life to the Valley of Dry Bones (Ezekiel 37), loves us enough to send his only son (John 3:16)……is the same God who is overseeing our journey. I sat in my car this morning and just reminded myself of all of this. My Yahweh, Abba Father is in control and He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). God has called us to our third child and He will see us through to the end.

When will the journey of adoption end? Who knows! I have witnessed through a very special couple a four plus year journey to their daughter, God is faithful. I have seen God bless the womb of another couple after five plus years of their infertility struggles, God is faithful. I am witness to another dear couples’ ongoing struggle of infertility, God is faithful. God will be faithful to us as we await our third child’s arrival to live with us in our home. All I pray I can do is give God all the glory and stand in His promise, “You keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” Isaiah 26: 3-4.

Patrick and I have prayed over these papers. We were blessed with opportunities to pray over these papers with dear friends who understand our love of Haiti and understand the journey that is before us in our adoption. We know God heard our prayers, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly that all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,” Ephesians 3:20. Thank you dear friends, there really are not words to express how much your time and prayers have meant to us.

So as I close out tonight a new phase of our journey begins tomorrow. Stay tuned to the journey that is yet to unfold…..Bondye Bon Tout Tan!!

This past weekend we had the privilege of worshipping with my cousin and his wife at their church in Crossville. Their church had such a sweet spirit and their pastor had a great sermon on why one can trust the Bible. While there were many points that spoke to me one statement made by their pastor really spoke to me. “I dare you to read the Bible and see if it won’t change your life.”

Part of the reason I know I was open to being obedient to God’s calling for adoption was due to the year of my life I invested in reading the Bible ( I did read the Bible and it did change my life). Patrick and I along with some fellow believers chose to follow the Radical Experiment’s Read Through the Bible plan (check out David Platt and Brook Hills Church).

Our journey of reading God’s complete word began May 17, 2010 and ended May 21, 2011.

During this year of being in God’s word diligently, God was able to do a lot of work in this girl’s heart, soul and life. The God who created this universe, parted the Red Sea, sent his only son to die for the sins of man, is the same God who took this lump of clay and began reshaping me in new ways. “But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand,” Isaiah 64:8. “Behold like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand,” Jeremiah 18: 6.

What I know now is that during this year, October 2010, a beautiful little girl was walked to an orphanage in the mountains of Haiti. She was too young to totally understand what this walk would mean but her family walked her there and turned around and walked back home without her. God knew what this walk meant; the Fiveash’s daughter was now in a place for her parents to come because this was about the same time I agreed to go to Haiti. While God was taking this lump of clay and was pinching here, pounding there, gently reshaping there, God was holding my beautiful third child in his loving arms as she left everything she ever knew and began a new season of her life in the orphanage.

There are not enough words to thank God for being my potter! I am still lumpy in a lot of places and oh how excited I am to see how God continues to reshape me!!

So my challenge to each of you reading this, feel free to pass on this challenge, “I dare you to read the Bible and see if it won’t change your life!”. Who knows what God has waiting on you!

Neica's Birth Certificate

We received Neica’s birth certificate this week. I know she is alive; I have met her, held her, and loved on her however it was “surreal” to see her birth certificate.

This document also held a few pleasant surprises. First, she is only four months older than Grey. We thought she was younger. Grey is super excited that Neica and he are the same age, already asking to be in the same class at school with Mrs. Day as their teacher. Secondly, she has a summer birthday. In the Fiveash house, with the exception of Patrick, we have winter birthdays. The kids and I are always talking about the fun of a summer birthday party and now we will get to have one!

Another detail that was surreal was to see her father and mother’s names. I know they existed or she would not be alive but to see their names…..It also struck me her birth mother and I were pregnant at the same time. In two countries, in two very different worlds, two of my children were living in two separate wombs. I do not pretend or even begin to understand God but as the Spirit of God spoke to me about this reality I thought, “for you knew my inner parts, you knitted me together in my mother’s womb” Psalm 139 :13. God chose to knit one of my children together in the womb of another woman and Praise be to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

I have thought of Neica’s birth mother a lot this week. How was her pregnancy? Grey was not an easy pregnancy and he did not want to be born. I had to be induced at 40 weeks and that child was climbing up in the birth canal! He also got into distress due to the umbilical cord being around his neck. I was blessed with American nurses, a doctor and a hospital that were able to successfully deliver my Grey alive. I cannot imagine Neica’s birth; dirt floor or wooden floor, inside or outside, was her mother alone? But I praise God for her safe delivery and for the woman who gave her life so that Neica could become a part of our family.